Repeat offenders: March 2009 Archives

While we're revisiting old favorites, I submit that the overpriced cut-up Victorian jigsaw puzzle (9 units? Give me a break) at 2267 Clinton will be on the market well beyond its owners' lifetimes. Heck, the way it's going, the owners' children might die of old age still clinging to their $1.5M price point.

It's back as MLS(r) #40402191, at the new, low, low price of $1,425,000.

Based on the MLS(r) photos, there isn't much left of the property's much-vaunted Victorian character. Carpet, carpet everywhere, and not an unrented square inch to breathe. The (terrible) MLS(r) photos suggest some of the units are empty (so much for $114,600 yearly income), the two photographed kitchens look incredibly cheap, characterless and cramped, and other than the picture and chair rails and some woodwork that would take some effort to remove, there doesn't seem to be anything remotely Victorian left in this once-glorious carved-up house. And remember these are the official, cherry-picked photos aimed at representing the house in its best light to prospective buyers.

I am thoroughly underwhelmed. I could see paying $600,000 for the (enormous) building, lot and location, maybe, and spend another $200,000 turning it back into a real house. Not a penny more.

Update 1/8/10: And again, for a little less this time ($1,369,000).

Remember 1019 Santa Clara, the obscenely overpriced Tudor revival that started out at $895,000 only to slowly drop to $748,000 and then disappear, about a year ago? It's back. The agent's name and broker (Sima Talai, Prudential CA Franciscan Properties) match the email address last used on the Craigslist posts ("simat@sfpru.com"), so she hasn't been fired yet and will almost certainly close a full-price sale this time around now that the price has been massively cut unchanged to $748,000.

Can not get any better than this! [...] Tudor house with huge family/office, fireplace, manicured, easy to maintain back & front yard, [...] One garage, possibly 3 car port tandem.

I'll refer interested parties to the original post for specs and commentary. It's now known as MLS(r) #354673. In fairness, it's very pretty inside, the kitchen hasn't been Luftwaffied, and it seems to be staged beautifully. But $748,000 $689,000? Not on your life.

(thanks to danielsf for the update)

Speaking of fake wealth destruction, today's little Victorian at 1009 Central is up there with the best of them.

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (+ 2 non-permitted bathrooms), 1,365 sqft, 5,440-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40401382, $499,000

Beautifully maintained Victorian [...] lot of charm. Hardwood floors, updated kitchen [...] 2 bathrooms without permit [...] no garage but huge driveway for plenty of parking.

The pointy roof looks odd to me--I could be convinced it's original to the 1891 building, but something tells me it was added later on, based on countless other little Victorian cottages sprinkled all over the island.

The listing claims this is a two-story home, but it looks like a one-floor, high-basement cottage with a finished (or not) basement. There's what looks like a permit ready to go to convert the basement back to storage, so I'm not sure whether all four of the bedrooms (not to mention the two stowaway bathrooms) would stay:

Case / Application / Permit Number			CB07-1243
Type / Classification			Building
			Combination Building Permit
			Residential / Over the Counter
Address			1009 CENTRAL AVE ALAMEDA, CA 94501
Parcel Number			073-0392-015-00
File Date			11/16/2007
Status			B_OTC -  Ready to Issue
Status Date			2/15/2008
Valuation			$0.00
Fees			$7,107.35
Payments			$3,553.50
Balance			$3,553.85
Description			CODE ENF:X04-0395 & X05-0222(MM)CONVERT BASEMENT BACK TO STORAGE AREA BY CAPPING OFF BATHROOMS & KITCHEN -PLBG/MECH/ELE FROM ORIGINAL SOURCE & CONVERT ATTIC BACK TO STORAGE AREA (BLDG/PLBG/MECH/ELE)

I didn't find a permit for foundation work; one other recent permit indicates some sheetrock had to be removed in the basement to ascertain whether basement walls were load-bearing and bring the basement up to code. All of this suggests to me the foundation might need some work, but again I'm happy to be corrected if anyone has credible evidence to the contrary (one wishes more homes would make that determination as easy as 2323 Buena Vista).

Now, what about that phantom wealth destruction?

Property History for 1009 CENTRAL Ave

Date	Event	Price
Mar 21, 2009	Listed	$499,000
Aug 04, 2005	Sold	$700,000

That's about 29% off its 2005 sale price. Of course, I expect some agent to chime in triumphantly when it sells quickly after multiple bids over asking. They can cling to their denial of the inevitable return to normalcy that's hitting the Bay Area for as long as they want. 

Update 9/19/09: Relisted for $460,750.

It appears that spamming Craigslist with borderline bait-and-switch ads and even the old "Taking multiple offers on Saturday from 1 to 4" trick didn't work (imagine that!), so 601 Fortress Isle is back on the market.

Again.

It's now on the MLS(r) as #40401150 (no Redfin link yet), listed for $722,000, with no description. The same broker that was carpet-bombing Craigslist with his idiot agents who think Alameda has an ocean view and a lake still has the listing.

Remember 1201 Central, the non-luxurious luxury home that comes with all its appliances, last seen on the market last summer?

It's back as MLS(r) #40400498. The property description is essentially unchanged.

Gorgeous 3 Bed 3 Bath Home! Over 1700 sq ft. Corner location on tree lined Central Avenue. Stone tiled kitchen nook. All appliances stay - washe, dryer, stove, refrig all less than 2 years old. Luxerious His & Hers walk-in closets in upstairs master bedroom - Luxury Alameda Living

The owners tried $689,000, then $629,000, then took the property off the market. It came back today at $599,000, which is substantially less than they paid for it in 2003, especially if you include 6% commission. It really makes me wonder if they grossly overpaid in 2003, or if they let the property go to pot, or both.

Update 3/18/09: This is indeed a short sale.

I know a lot of buyers have been chomping at the bit for another chance to purchase 409 Shell Gate Road, which was on the market last year. All that pent-up demand, free-flowing credit and strong job market, combined with a realization that now is a great time to buy real estate and invest in your future, almost guarantee it's going to be gone by Sunday.

Well, your wish has come true, and you're getting a second chance! 409 Shell Gate Road is now back on the market, known as MLS(r) #40399644, and listed for a paltry $525,000, or only $349 / sqft for a unique gem of mid-1960s architectural flair.

Please be courteous and try not trample each other as you rush to drop off your signed offer of 15% over asking with 40% down and 815 FICO.

(excuse me)

You may remember that this ugly run-of-the-mill rancher was advertised as follows (emphasis added):

Hawaii in alameda? This lovely home is a strolling distance to the shore, schools, shops and rest-aurants. It's a spacious 3bd/2baths/2cgarage cozy home. Features central heating, romantic fireplace in livingrm, move in condition. Hurry this won't last.

I hope words are nutritious, because that's all a lot of Realtors(tm) have to eat these days.

You may remember the "painted lady" Victorian on Morton that was bragging about its "unheard-of" price (and then its unheard-of price drop). It disappeared without a sale last last year, and with good reason--it was overimproved (if you can say what looked like a $75,000 tricked-out kitchen is "improved") and overpriced.

I heard through the grapevine the owners had bought a new house before selling the Morton property, and were in a bit of a bind.

Well, it's back (MLS(r) #40399138), for the even more unheard-of price of $975,000.

If I may quote myself:

Assuming an appreciation that matches historic trends (i.e. around 5%), today's price should be about $830,000.

It was listed for $1,250,000 at the time, which means it's down about 65% of where it needs to be.

Now consider that Lehman Brothers and relatively easy credit were still around then. The rhetorical question at the top of my original post now seems to be answering itself:

Why can't this house come on the market in a year or two, for $500K less?

Update 8/25/09: Still on the market with a really idiotic price drop from $975,000 to $949,999. Not only is "$949,999" a truly meaningless discount from $950,000, it also shuts out all the buyers who start looking at $950,000 using various real estate Web sites. Well done, genius(es).

Update 8/27/09: Still on the market for any one of three prices.

Update 11/13/09: Pending.

Today's Craigslist post had me in stitches (almost). Here goes, in its entirety, with some highlighting for emphasis.

$485000 / 2br - Sweet and Charming Home with lots of Character! (alameda) (map)

---

Reply to: hous-1055041452@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-02-28, 8:17PM PST


Two bedrooms, one bathroom.
Charming home with lots of character. Built in 1912.
Beautiful refinished wood floor throught the home.
New roof!
New foundation!
Fresh paint!
Great central location in Alameda.
Quiet neighborhood of expensive homes.

*Price for quick sale before listing on MLS.
If interested call Moti at 415-850-4841

The backyard and Home Depot special granite and short backsplash in the kitchen look especially appealing.

If you don't know where 1810 Hibbard is, here's a map with a street view. It looks like a bunch of super classy new construction homes on the west side with three five times as many pickup trucks than cars parked outside of them (I counted them), a big empty lot to the south of this property, and the striking modern sculpture below at the north end of the block:

But that's not what amused me most. This is:

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 744 sqft, 3,564-sqft lot, $485,000

You read right. 744 square feet for $485,000 ($652 / sqft) is "Price[d] for quick sale before listing on MLS."

Maybe whatever is stored in those silos has been wafting down the street and eating away at the owner's brain cells. Or maybe they didn't have enough room for a TV, radio, computer, or newspaper mailbox in their subcompact bungalow to be informed that there are no quick sales anymore (with the occasional exception, and both of those occurred before unemployment hit double digits in California and the S&P 500 hit an 11-year low), and that the kinds of price per sqft that actually sell in Alameda are less than half of their demented asking price.

  

It shouldn't come as much of a surprise that the owners are not quite there. You may remember this property from last year, when it was on the market with a rather colorful description courtesy of Ms. "Sam" McDowell:


If you can't quite make out the description, here's what it says:

Its craftsman architectural integrity has been effectively exploited into a wreck created by the ravage of passing time or human beings????

Sure makes you want to move right in, doesn't it? Yet the current owners did pay $300,000 for it last April:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 04/30/2008: $300,000

2008 Property Tax: $2,099

In other words, this house is probably an attempt at a quick flip that's almost guaranteed to end poorly for the idiot flippers. Assuming they did things right, not luxuriously, and that the Craiglist post is factually accurate (i.e. the "new foundation" is a new foundation, not a cheap perimeter job, and the "new roof" really is a full roof replacement), we're probably looking at $60,000 worth of work given the condition the house appeared to be in.

That said, if the new roof, new foundation, and full rehab listed in the Craigslist post are their work, and if they're done properly (I have my doubts based on the cheap kitchen do-over and what looks like just a coat of paint on the windows, rather than a replacement), I must commend them for restoring what looked like a complete disaster. I'm almost tempted to wish them a break-even sale so they don't get completely turned off from rehabbing old houses in Alameda. It's an expensive hobby in this market, but I can think of much more destructive ways of killing time.

Update 3/9/09: On the MLS(r) as #4039891, same price.

Update 3/10/09: Reader Alyssa (yabbadabba) was kind enough to provide photos of the house taken when it was on the market last year, pre-renovation. Alyssa says:

I had a feeling this house would be flipped.  These are some before photos which show the sad state that the house was in; these photos are from February 2008.  The house looks better now from the photos.

Behold:



Could be worse. Like, say, the side of the house: