Post of the week--1715 Schiller Street, Alameda, CA

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Pacita Dimacali is one of Alameda's most active agents. She posts on craigslist, Trulia, and this little blog. We've had our disagreements about marketing fluff, but we have a very cordial relationship. Today I want to recognize Ms. Dimacali's talent for embellishing the unembellishable, pitching the unpitchable, and listing the unsellable, by reproducing her latest Craigslist post in its resigned, shoulder-shrugging entirety. Brace yourselves, because it's a doozie.

1715 Schiller
Help beautify Alameda --- fix up this home!

2BR/1BA Single Family House
       
Year Built     1925
Sq Footage     856
Bedrooms     2
Bathrooms     1 full, 0 partial
Floors     1
Parking     Unspecified
Lot Size     2,520 sqft

DESCRIPTION
Help make Alameda look beautiful and fix up this house!

Not the worst of the worst, but close to it. This is a home a contractor would love. Spanish bungalow needs a total makeover. (Yes, it’s a fixer.)

The dining room was turned into a bedroom 30 years ago, without permits.

The roof leaks. There are holes in the ceiling, the walls, and the floor. Wood floors need refinishing. Paint is peeling inside and out. The bathroom and the kitchen are not pretty. The appliances stay, if you want them. Rickety back stairs. There is no heat, no cooling.

It is chockfull of stuff, including an abandoned Silverado truck in the driveway, a VW Convertible in the garage, and a jet-ski in the backyard.

Its real value lies in the fact that it is a detached single family home on a small lot, albeit a fixer, in the beautiful city of Alameda.

1715-schiller-street-craigslist.jpgAfter I was done laughing, I asked myself the following questions:

  1. what would possess any sane agent to take on this listing?
  2. how does being a tiny fixer on a tiny lot in a crappy part of town constitute "real value"?
  3. why on earth is all that junk still on the premises?
  4. if the dining room is a bedroom, where does one eat?
  5. when was the last time anybody lived in that hovel (anybody human, that is)?
  6. what the hell is wrong with whoever priced that monstrosity at (drum roll) $350,000?
You read right: three hundred fifty thousand dollars. For a leaky, unpermitted, junk-filled, 856-sqft dump on a cocktail-napkin lot on the north end of civilization. $409 per miserable, rotten square foot. This monstrosity was last sold almost 40 years ago for 2 grand, and sadly it really isn't worth much more than that now. Heck, I'd be half tempted to ask for a property tax refund. Like hazard pay.

Last sale and tax info

Sold 11/10/1969: $2,000
2007 Property Tax: $1,265

Ms. Dimacali: Are you bored? Desperate for a challenge? Doing a friend a favor? What is going on here? 

Update 10/19/08: It seems the comments on this post may have had an effect. The copy has been modified from

This is a home a contractor would love.
to
This is a project for a contractor.
Update 10/29/08: Amusing edits have appeared in the copy.

The owners are working very hard to clear out the mountain of books and other things that have accumulated through the years. (Hallelujah! The abandoned truck has been hauled away. Now, about that VW in the garage....)
Who knew writing marketing copy for Craigslist posts could double as occupational (anger management?) therapy?

Update 11/14/08: Price dropped to $299,500.

Update 12/20/08: Rumor has it multiple offers have been turned down. Fact has it the house is still sitting there unsold. My intuition has it it's not going to sell itself.

3 Comments

Looking to Buy said:

I just wanted to say that you are hysterical in your evaluations of both the properties and their listings! Your sense of humor is priceless... Please don't ever change!!

L. Opine Author Profile Page said:

Thank you, and welcome!

IslandGuy said:

Wow. Now I've seen everything. I'm perplexed as to why she's advertising the junk on the property: "It is chockfull of stuff, including an abandoned Silverado truck in the driveway, a VW Convertible in the garage, and a jet-ski in the backyard." Are these items included in the sale? (who would want them anyway?) It seems to me that this junk should be removed from the property before it's listed for sale.

Oh, and just because a property is a wreck, it doesn't mean a contractor would "love" it. For the right price, sure, but successful contractors know what's worth rehabilitating. A small house on a small lot most likely isn't worth the investment.

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This page contains a single entry by L. Opine published on October 13, 2008 10:45 PM.

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