It always amuses me to read descriptions of properties going into foreclosure describing them as great investments. It reminds me of those old high-mileage Buick Regal beaters with "RUNS GOOD" painted on them. If it RUNS GOOD, why sell it, really? And if it's such a great investment, why is it back on the market a few years after its last purchase, and being foreclosed on?

70_amx_bbo_beater.JPGToday's brilliant financial move is what looks like a small Victorian chopped up into two units, on the 1500 block of Santa Clara. I can't tell from the Google Street View picture whether it's the little rickety one on the west side or the tall Italianatey-sticky one just inches to the east of it (my bet is the former). The specs, such as they are:

2x 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1,572 sqft, no lot size available, MLS(r) #40374298, $449,000
Appealing investment opportunity! Upstairs [...] 1 bedroom and 1 bath with 2 bonus rooms, [...] updated kitchen and bathroom. Downstairs [...] updated kitchen. [...] Desirable location!

1520_santa_clara_street_view.pngInterestingly, the previous sale price wasn't all that high, especially for 2004. It makes you wonder how much of the "updated kitchen(s)" was financed using a HELOC.

Last sale and tax info

Sold 05/14/2004: $405,000
2007 Property Tax: $5,797

I don't know what's going on in that part of Santa Clara, but it seems to be a hotbed of foreclosures and dilapidated houses. Maybe it's the bend in the street just a block to the east? Or the church across the street?


Catchy title, eh? Everywhere on the web you see real estate professionals claiming it's a great time to buy, the market is picking up, buy now or be priced out forever, etc--the same garbage the industry has been spewing since 2001 (well, since the beginning of time, but the industry wasn't quite as big and loud as it is now). Well--the Bianchis posted their September sales summary on the Alameda Sun site, and if people actually believe the following indicates that "the values will continue to go up within the next 1 to 2 years," then maybe we do deserve Palin as president, intelligent design in science classes, and an oil rig in every yard.

Number of sales above asking price     4
Number of sales at asking price     3
Number of sales below asking price    20
Gory details on the original site.

I frankly don't understand what causes people to expect and pay enormous amounts of money for homes east of Broadway. Another overpriced Tudor revival recently hit the market, complete with a featured label on Zillow and its own shiny site. Here are the specs:

4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, 1,725 sqft, approx. 5,200-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40373096, $788,000

[...] elegant architectural design in East End. Close to parks, schools, [...] Cathedral ceiling & frpl in living rm, [...] updated chef's kitchen, den/fam room w/French doors [...] Fig, plum, apple & citrus trees.

1101_college_avenue_thumb.jpg
(resized thumbnail from property web site shown under fair use, not EBRD copyrighted photo)
I don't care how updated your ridiculous Terminator kitchen is (see the MLS(r) sites for yourself--I can't bring myself to post obscene expanses of stainless steel anymore). $457 / sqft is just too much money. But the owners don't have much of a choice, since they're already set to lose about $50K in commission fees alone, not counting the precious metals in the "updated" kitchen:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 02/10/2005: $790,000
2007 Property Tax: $9,819
I wonder how much of the house is being claimed as a business tax deduction by Gleicher Employment Law Group, a law firm headquartered at 1101 College Avenue. This sure gives a new meaning to "in-house counsel". Perhaps the basketball hoop and the stainless steel appliances are legit business expenses--you want to be able to entertain your big clients:

Founder D'Anne Gleicher started the Gleicher Employment Law Group to address the growing need for pragmatic, focused, and cost-efficient employment law advice and counsel; human resource investigations; and training.  [...]

D'Anne Gleicher
Principal of the Gleicher Employment Law Group, D'Anne Gleicher, was naturally drawn to employment law.  She has a superior understanding of employment law, an easy confident manner, and truly enjoys the professionals with whom she interacts. 

[...] Before founding the Gleicher Employment Law Group, D'Anne worked as an in-house employment counsel for a dynamic Fortune 500 company

I'm also curious how big that "group" really is--nobody other than D'Anne Gleicher is listed anywhere on their site.

That said, maybe the whole home-based business thing is a solution to parental logistics for Ms. Gleicher, and I certainly can't fault anybody for working out of their homes--if nothing else, it saves energy.

For some moms, like me, what hurts is a deep-seated notion that we should be better parents than our spouses — more instinctive, more inventive, more in tune with our kids' needs. D'Anne Gleicher of Alameda, California, finds herself battling this idea when her daughter is sick. Because she can't get paid time off from her job as an attorney, her husband is usually the one to stay home with Ava, 8. "I know he's very capable of caring for her, but I want to believe I'm better at it than he is — even though I'm not. I think it's the whole 'I'm the mommy and I can fix anything.' It's almost like a savior thing."


Update 10/5/08: I wonder how recent the blue-and-red paint job is. The house is yellow in a Google street view, which only came online a few months ago in Alameda. I like the red trim better, so I hope the photo on the property's own site is current.

1101-college-street-view.jpg




New photos

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You might remember the little kerfuffle that erupted between EBRD and this blog. I promptly removed a lot of pictures. As much as I like my own artist's rendering I used to replace those photos, I still prefer actual pictures, so I started replacing them with my own snapshots.

house.jpgIf you're interested in contributing photos of properties I've written about, please contact me at name-of-this-blog-without-dot-com at gmail-dot-com.

Right down the street from a beautiful Victorian that just came on the market is a tiny little cottage with the following specs:

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 930 sqft, 2,303 sqft lot, MLS(r) #40373232

[...] edge of the Gold Coast charming craftsman bungalow, hardwood floors eat-in kitchen, fireplace. Sunny combination living room dinning room. [...] drip irrigation w/drought resistant plants, driveway can double as a patio.
1800_alameda_avenue_mine.jpgAnd how much for that sub-1,000 sqft on a lot that's smaller than the house I just mentioned? No less than $550,000, or $591 / sqft. Never mind there are quite a few bigger bungalows in nice neighborhoods listed around the same price. Some of them might even allow you to sit on a patio that you don't park your car on, unlike...

1800_alameda_avenue_patio_mine.jpgAssuming the landscaping wasn't financed with a big fat HELOC, the owners should have some room to drop the price to where it should be (hint: it starts with a digit that looks a lot like a 3):

Last sale and tax info

Sold 08/30/2002: $380,000
2007 Property Tax: $5,294
Sorry, folks, if I'm going to spend over half a million dollars on a house, I don't want to serve dinner on my coffee table or have a tailgate party on my own patio. Have some dignity.

One of four listings to hit the market all at once this week, 1724 Alameda Avenue is also the most interesting. I wasn't able to find any public domain pictures, so I'll probably shoot a couple this weekend and post. First, the specs:

4 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 2 stories, unfinished basement, 2,652 sqft, 13,200-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40373116, $899,999

Sonoma in Alameda? [...] 4 bedroom Italianate style home [...] huge double lot with gardens, it also includes a spa like studio cottage. Main house needs cosmetics.[...]
You read right. 13,200-sqft lot, in a great location, where they truly aren't making any more land. Built in 1889, it's also been owned by the same folks for a long time, judging by the low property tax ($1,774) and absence of sale history on its Zillow page.

I took a look at this property; the lot is so big you can't really take good pictures of the building without trespassing, which I wasn't interested in doing, so here's what you can see from the street:

1724_alameda_avenue_mine.jpg $339 / sqft for a big, beautiful house with bonus cottage on a giant lot in the Gold Coast means it's not going to last.


Finally some action

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Working late last night, I took a look at the MLS(r) sites without much hope of interesting new listings, and much to my surprise and delight, several new properties had shown up. Write-ups forthcoming for the following properties:


You may remember a pair of properties on Pacific that used to spam the heck out of craigslist a few months back. "Possibilities!" and "Build your own MTV Crib" were some of the slogans they used to try to unload them onto unsuspecting buyers.

Thankfully they disappeared for a while, and I assumed they had finally sold--the bigger one had dropped its price by $650,000, after all.

Well. It's back. No price. I think my favorite part of the listing is "Abundant room for 30+ car parking and areas for Bbq's and entertaining with friends"--it is indeed awesome for those parties with 50+ people you're certain to be throwing on a very, very regular basis.

Large Property! Huge Double Lot ! Best Park St. Location! (alameda) (map)


Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-09-29, 11:34AM PDT


Fantastic Alameda, California Best Trendy Location

Attention Professional's, Contractors etc. build your own MTV's Crib!!!!

I have a unique house in Alameda, @ Park St.The house is walking distance to Alameda's popular cafes, Trendy bars, The Marketplace, Havana, La Pinyata and just about everything.Only 10 minutes drive to San Francisco and any Bay Area destination.

The property is Large and the house is 4+ bedrooms (approx 1833 sqft)with a large formal living room and large formal dining room .High 10ft Ceilings,refinished woodfloors. Downstairs there is (approx 1833 sqft)of space (rooms,2 Bathrooms) Unique Zoning for possible Commercial shop or many uses even build work/live loft etc. Great for owner user business and write off mortgage. What also makes this place special is that it's on an 10877 sqft lot. The lot is half cemented for parking etc. Abundant room for 30+ car parking and areas for Bbq's and entertaining with friends.This is a must see and could be a "one of a kind" place for the right person.

please call 510-575-6099

Update 10/4/08: Marketing hyperbole is one thing, but lying is another. And "Only 10 minutes drive to San Francisco and any Bay Area destination." is a lie. You're lucky if you can get into the city in 25 minutes. And "any Bay Area destination" includes, say, San Jose, which you can only reach in 10 minutes if you're already there. Aren't FSBOs supposed to abide by the same advertising rules as brokers?

Update 10/9/08: This is getting better and better. The last time this orange-cream elephant was on the market, back in July, it had dropped down to $840,000 (from $1,450,000). This round of craigslist posts started off coy, with no price on the listing. Perhaps it was trying the old "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" method. Well, today they dropped that strategy and came out with a brand new price of...

(drum roll)

$975,000.

It also has an agent, Kelly Foreman.

Kelly Foreman | Pacific Sales & Management | kellyforeman@pacificsmi.com | 510-501-2302
2318 Pacific Avenue, Alameda, CA
Unique Owner user Property off Park St. Extra Large 10,877 +/- sqft Lot . Flexible "CM" Zoning
4BR/3BA Single Family House

offered at $975,000

I don't know whether Ms. Foreman or the owner came up with that brilliant number, but they're both responsible for agreeing to it. How exactly do they expect to fetch $135,000 more than the last unsuccessful price, arrived at after at least three months of successive drops in the middle of the hottest selling season, when the Dow Jones has lost over 2,200 points in less than a week, at least a dozen major financial institutions have failed, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have been nationalized, GMAC's rating is under review for a possible downgrade, unemployment is over 6%, and we're entering the slowest selling season for real estate?

MORONS.

Today's craigslist post doesn't beat about the bush. Why rent, indeed, when you can pay more to own a property that's losing value by the day?

$300000 Distress Sale * Short Walk to Shoreline Dr * Why Rent? * Only 3% Down! (alameda)


Reply to: hous-859914599@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-29, 12:19PM PDT


LIGHT AND AIRY 2ND FLOOR UNIT WITH ENCLOSED PATIO. SPACIOUS LIVING/DINING. 1 BLOCK TO THE BEACH. CLOSE TO SHOPPING AND TRANSPORTATION. COMMUNITY POOL. LOCK BOX IS ON THE WATER PIPE NEAR THE DRIVEWAY. Please click on the property address to view the full details of this property. If you are pre-approved (no pre-quals please) and not working with an agent, feel free to contact me for a private showing.

$299,000 - 325 KITTY HAWK Unit 206
 
All my best,
Mustafa Afzali, ePro
The unit itself is small and unremarkable, and still way overpriced at $350 / sqft:

2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, 854 sqft, built in 1964
This complex is so close to the beach you can almost see Russia San Francisco from there:

kitty-hawk-street-view.jpgAnd sure enough, this is a semi-recent overpriced purchase:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 01/27/2004: $290,000
2007 Property Tax: $4,104
Another one bites the dust. Yay!
It seems the market has ground to a stop this week, perhaps in reaction to the current crisis on Wall Street. But that hasn't stopped owners on Parfait Lane from advertising their overpriced condos on craigslist.

102 Parfait Lane and 108 Parfait Lane have identical specs:

2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1,534 sqft, $410 / month HOA dues
Accordingly, they also have near-identical descriptions (and presumably the same amenities for the same $410 / month HOA dues).

102 says "Well-maintained upper unit at Brittany Landing The Bay. Located next to San Francisco Bay there are bay and lagoon walking paths with sweeping San Francisco views. The Harbor Bay Fitness Club is a short walk and Brittany Landing has a lovely pool and hot tub. Spacious open rooms with vaulted ceilings and a balcony off the master bedroom are just a few of its special features"

108 says "
beautiful 2 bedroom 2 bathroom condo in brittany landing at the bay in harbor bay, alameda. 1534 sq. ft. newer hardwood floors in entry, kitchen and hallway. gated community with 24 hr. security. swimming pool and spa. carefree living in alameda. available for viewing by appointment only. monday thru friday 9am to 4pm. no weekend viewing. call Ron Palmer at 510-735-4753 for your own personal tour. Prudential California Realty 3320 Grand Ave Oakland, Ca"

102-108-parfait-lane-google-map.jpg
102 was purchased almost 20 years ago:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 07/31/1989: $239,000
2007 Property Tax: $4,345

108 was purchased 4 1/2 years ago:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 03/12/2004: $438,000
2007 Property Tax: $5,912

And therein lies the rub for Ron Palmer's listing: 102 is asking for about 9% more than 108's previous purchase price ($480,000), while its neighbor is trying to get a whopping $645,000, a 34% premium over the other unit, which is already arguably overpriced at $313 / sqft with those sizable HOA dues ($4,920 per year that's not going into your roof/flooring/plumbing fund or other property-value-enhancing vehicle).

Another interesting sign of the times is that it took 15 years for $239,000 to grow into $438,000 (a fairly normal 4.125% y-o-y appreciation), but 108's owner has no qualms about expecting the same absolute gains in just four years (a completely unreasonable 10.125% y-o-y appreciation). And 102 claims to be an upper unit, which is arguably better than a ground-floor unit--no amount of flamenco dancing by your neighbors can dislodge your chandeliers or rattle your dentures.

I once heard a house owner deride condo living as a lifestyle sought after by fat retirees wearing big gold chains and half-open Hawaiian shirts. I see it more as a dangerous proposition when near-perfect comps are right under your nose (16 ft away, per Google's walking directions), waiting to strike at your listing with the exact same offerings and a lower price.

In any case, $410 / month sure buys you a lot of Hawaiian shirts. 

Reader D. noticed I didn't cover the property at 1820 Elm Street when it appeared on the market. The main reason I didn't is because I can't find any decent pictures anywhere that I'm allowed to show, and because its MLS(r) listing creeps me out. But in the interest of thoroughness, here goes Freddy Krueger's house.

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1,056 sqft, 4,550-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40367213, $425,000

Please do not disturb tenants.
The description is engaging: "Please do not disturb tenants." And there's no heat. Sure makes you want to buy it right now. At $402 / sqft in a part of town not particularly reknowned for its loveliness, it's overpriced by a good $50,000, and its laconic listing with no pictures of the inside doesn't help its cause.

There's no significant sale history to discuss, so one has to assume it's a regular ol' sale without all that much at stake. The sellers don't seem too motivated, either, judging by the bare-bones listing. We shall see if anyone picks it up.
The Stonehenge complex in Alameda is a weird but delightful-looking cluster of English-y homes in an enclosed mini-park, complete with high-pitched roofs (sorry, rooves) and cutesy stone paths. It's also a hornet's nest of bad financial decisions, what with unit D being listed below its previous sale price a couple of months ago, and unit B following suit this week. Here are the specs:

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1,196 sqft, 3,000-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40371081, $569,000

English style home [...] park like setting. Hardwood floors, updated kitchen [...] charm [...] vintage details.
Amusingly, it was purchased just three years ago for $588,000 (note the great street view picture):

Sale History
03/18/2005: $588,000
Another one bites the dust. Yay.
A "fantastick" 2-level home near the East End just hit the market. It's small and overpriced, as usual, and has a surfeit of lavatories, per various public records:

2 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 1,118 sqft, approx. 3,900-sqft lot, MLS #40371001, $649,000
Charming split level steps from Edison Elementary. [...] vintage details - coved ceilings, [...] pegged random plank wood floors. [...] Dream of a kitchen. Fantastick yard [...]
That works out to $580 / sqft, which is completely out of touch with reality, especially considering it has serious competition from the Fairview house and the Pearl house, which are bigger and cheaper.

Sale history data suggest the owners are trying to get out before the market hits 2003 levels again.

Sale History
05/09/2003: $456,000
No other sale data is available
Let's see how far down it needs to drop before it sells.

I don't know if someone actually did to a decent CMA, or if the market beat the astronomical odds of having two sellers with a clue list their homes the same week, but we have ourselves an interesting battle of the Craftsman homes brewing.

To my left, the incumbent, listed on 9/19/08, is 1371 Pearl Street, a large Craftsman with the following specs:

3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, 1,691 sqft, 4,920-sqft lot, finished basement(!), MLS(r) #40370464, $599,000

Charming [...] East End. Large living room [...] brick fireplace box beamed ceiling's and inlaid hardwood floors. [...] finished basement perfect for office [...] Deck off master bedroom [...]
No sale history on Zillow and a very low property tax for 2007 suggest it's been owned for a long time.


To my right is 3215 Fairview Avenue, a far-East-End Craftsman with the following specs:

3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1,665 sqft, approx. 4,790-sqft lot, split level, MLS(r) #40371023, $599,000

[...] craftsman [...] one of Alameda's most sought after neighborhood
The sale history is somewhat recent, but suggests the owner has maneuvering room:

Last sale and tax info

Sold 02/22/2001: $400,000
2007 Property Tax: $5,882
Pearl has a basement and seems to be in beautiful condition judging by the photos on the property site. Fairview has the extreme East End appeal that makes people lose their minds and overbid like crazy.

I don't know which one will sell first, but they're certainly priced somewhat reasonably for this market ($354 / sqft and $360 / sqft, respectively), and directly in competition with one another. My guess would be that Fairview will sell for more money and/or sooner, because of its location.

What is certain is that the fixers in the neighborhood are in for a serious reality check.

In the continuing "maybe it wasn't such a good idea to buy an overpriced property we can't afford" saga, today we (re)introduce 1813 9th Street, a small, unassuming house at the north end of 9th street. The specs are unimpressive:

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 986 sqft, approx. 5,220-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40370885, $375,000

GOOD CURB APPEAL, HARDWOOD FLOORS, [...] WELL-PRICED HOME IN A DESIRABLE AREA.
Good curb appeal and desirable area are all in the eye of the beholder.

1813-9th-street-street-view.jpgI'd personally describe it as "blends in with the elements," which I suppose is curb appeal for the privacy-minded.

At $375,000 ($380 / sqft) it is significantly overpriced, but considerably less so than it was the last time it sold:

Sale History
05/05/2008: $441,150 *
01/11/2005: $550,000
10/01/1999: $215,000
No other sale data is available
* Transaction not included in Zestimate
That's right: somebody paid $558 / sqft for that nondescript little box in a nondescript neighborhood.

I really hope the idiots who approved those loans, and the idiots who signed their names at the bottom, really enjoy the financial ruin they so richly deserve.



Little by little, it seems the market is being reshaped by repossessed/foreclosed houses that were sold for too much money a couple of years ago. Another one of those just hit the market, a little Craftsman at 1107 High Street. The specs:

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1,071 sqft, 3,430-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40370821, $529,900

Charming Arts & Crafts bungalow [...] original details and some updating. [...] open/ spacious feel. Nicely finished hardwood floors, built-in cabinets. [...] workshop/storage in rear. Don't miss this one.
At $495 / sqft, it's significantly overpriced, but it appears to be close to the foreclosed amount:

Sales History

Sale History & Tax Info
Sale History
07/22/2008: $544,541 *
09/27/2006: $615,000
10/03/2000: $311,000
No other sale data is available
* Transaction not included in Zestimate

You can't blame the bank for trying to make its money back. Oh wait, yes, you can, since they had no business making that loan to begin with. $615,000 for a sub-1,100-sqft bungalow is complete insanity, and $529,900 is not much better.

No way, Jose

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This is rich. Jose Cerda-Zein, a local Realtor(tm), wants to do lunch with me and coach me so I (he and I, really) can create a great life for me and my family. To be a more successful real estate agent. To be less negative. Somehow José appears to believe I'm a Realtor(tm). 

Jose Cerda-Zein to me

L. Opine... i have a few questions...
 
1. I am curious are you a REALTOR?
2. What is your name?
3. If you are a Realtor... What is your production level? Spending your time being negative and researching must directly impact your production. I can help you increase your business so you dont have so much time on your hands.  
4. Lets grab lunch Tuesday or Wednesday at noon... We can discuss how I can coach you to become postive and succesful. and together we can create a great life for you and your family... That is what you want... isnt it? We could meet at... Toomies or Linguinis? Which one works for you.
 
Thank you so much for your time and giveing me the opportunity to work with you....  
Here's a question, Jose: what in my 220+ vitriolic posts makes you think I am a Realtor(tm)? Do I sound like a Realtor(tm)? Do I spend my time saying "interest rates are at historic lows" or "it's a buyer's market" or "buy now or be priced out forever" or "it's a great time to buy" or "prices are low" or "we've reached the bottom"? Do I capitalize random words? Do I paint an ever-rosy picture of the real estate market in Alameda?

You don't know me from Adam; I can tell you that we have never met. Yet why do you so readily offer to "coach me" so that you can take credit for the "great life for [me] and [my] family" that you and I will achieve together?
Are you in a cult, Jose? A Scientologist, perhaps?

Maybe you're not in a cult. You're a Realtor(tm). I get those confused.

Thanks for the email and for the laughs.

Real estate agents must use a special dictionary. In mine, a "bargain" is a good deal, a product that can be obtained for less money than other comparable products, or for less than you would normally expect to pay for it in general. A house priced around $800,000 rarely qualifies. Especially with the following specs:

3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, 1,736 sqft, 4,050-sqft lot, MLS(r) #40355249, $799,000, listed 7/10/08

$799000 Bargain 4 Bedroom home in Harbor Bay (alameda)


Reply to: rliu@hbrinfo.com [?]
Date: 2008-09-19, 2:27PM PDT


Sunny southern special floorplan w/High ceiling. Large private backyard. Newer designer paint. Good Size driveway. Close to Shoreline, park, & school. Wider st. attractive move-in condition.

Must See!!

Open House Sun 9/21 2-4 pm
Harbor Bay Realty
Ringo Liu
510.814.4848

140-justin-circle-craigslist.jpg
Ringo: $460 / sqft is not a bargain. In fact it's arguably too expensive by a factor of 2. And "designer paint" doesn't really cost any more than the odd bucket of Behr.

The sale history is littered with non-arms-length transactions:

Sales History

Sale History & Tax Info
Sale History
06/30/2005: $150,000 *
04/07/1987: $204,000 *
No other sale data is available
* Transaction not included in Zestimate
I suspect the listing history will also be littered with price drops.

Smaller multi-family homes are always a risky bet: they're harder to sell than single-family residences, and any vacancy can mean a 50% drop in your monthly rental income. That's why it's really, really important for any such investment to be cashflow-positive from the get-go, especially in a market with negative appreciation.

Today's "exceptional duplex" is an interesting investment opportunity (postlet is here).

$999000 Exceptional Duplex on a Large Corner Double Lot (alameda) (map)


Reply to: hous-846571314@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-18, 9:52PM PDT


1201 Peach Street, Corner of San Jose Avenue

3 bedroom - 2 bath: 1808sqft lower unit

1 bedroom - 1 bath: 1000sqft upper unit


Amenities: breath taking hardwood floors throughout, a very large one car attached garage, large two car detached garage, off street parking for three additional cars, new appliances, washer and dryer included in both units, large double corner lot, beautiful knotty pine "tree house" apartment, separate utilities and much much more.

Click on this link for more pictures and detailed information: http://www.postlets.com/res/1012455

Priced Reduced to $999,000 or best offer!

For more information or to schedule a private showing please call:

Mary - 510-915-1011
or
Dominic Carrion, Agent - 510-717-5076 Liberate Financial Corp.

Also can be seen on www.realtor.com http://www.realtor.com/realestate/alameda-ca-94501-1101448605/ for additional information.

MLS ID #40356443

Check out the awful vintage paneling job cool tree house apartment:

1201-peach-tree-house-craigslist.jpg
But what is truly exceptional about this property is that it flaunts how cashflow-negative it is on the mother of all real estate sites, the big kahuna, Realtard dot com hisself (screenshot resized and mangled to protect the innocent):

1201-peach-realtard-edited.jpgLet's summarize:

Income = $3,600 / month
Mortgage = $5,322 / month
$200,000 sunk as down payment and not invested in a 3% CD = $500 / month (20% down is one of realtard's assumptions)
1% maintenance = $832 / month
Property tax = $957 / month
1 month of rent a year lost due to turnover = $150 / month

Grand total, before insurance, utilities and income tax on the rent = $4,161 / month in the red.

There's no sale history on Zillow, and the property tax is listed at $1,697 / year, so one assumes this is a fully-owned, paid-off house that's a good 90% profit for the current owners. Maybe somebody should tell them that they're not going to get a million bucks for their treehouse because it DOES NOT MAKE ANY FINANCIAL SENSE.

If I see another listing touting the merits of a self-indulgent, over-improving kitchen remodel with Terminator appliances for the discriminating chef, I might start using foul language. 

Today's kitchen porn comes courtesy of Angelo Raymundo:

$719000 @@@BEAUTIFUL FERNSIDE TRADITIONAL W/STUNNING KITCHEN REMODEL!@@@ (alameda) (map)


Reply to: hous-846558723@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-18, 9:32PM PDT

OPEN HOUSE! SUNDAY, SEPT. 21st, 2-4:30PM

Gorgeous split-level Traditional in lovely Fernside neighborhood of Alameda, with 2 bedrooms and 1.5 baths and almost 1400 square feet of living space! Sophisticated and chic, this historical home boasts formal living and dining rooms, and an exquisitely remodeled kitchen, fit for any chef with discriminating taste; a spacious kitchen featuring VIKING appliances, including a six burner gas stove with double oven, stainless steel refrigerator and dishwasher, Brazilian Koa flooring, and self-closing walnut-stained cabinetry. From the kitchen, walk out onto the deck overlooking an enchanting garden with flowering plants and trees, complete with a fountain that offers the calming sounds of trickling water. And not to forget, the extra room and half bath on the lower level is perfect for office, den, or playroom. Ideally located in desirable East end near shops, parks, and transportation. A lovely home by any standard and one that is not to be missed!

Some highlighted features:

- Split-level 2 bdr / 1.5 bath
- Hardwood floors and carpeting throughout
- Fireplace in livingroom
- Stunningly remodeled kitchen includes:
* Stainless steel Viking appliances
* Brazilian Koa wood floors
* Walnut-stained self-closing cabinetry
* Marble countertops
* Eat-in area
* Access to deck/patio/garden
- Bonus/laundry room in basement
- One car garage with interior access
- Beautiful garden/patio area with shade trees and pond
- Mostly updated electrical, plumbing, and newer roof

For more information or to schedule a private showing, please call Angelo Raymundo with RE/MAX Accord at (510) 435-9543.

Virtual tour: www.3011FERNSIDE.com

Thank you for your interest!
Behold the koa-powered gleam:

3011-fernside-koa-craigslist.jpgI hope the pampered pups who live in this (almost!) 1,400-sqft 2-bedroom house with only 1 1/2 bathrooms but a $80K kitchen and a silly fountain in the yard had fun overimproving, because I doubt many people will enjoy the privilege of spending more money on their cabinets and appliances than the average American couple earns in a whole year for much longer. They might have to spend it on frivolous pursuits like food, education or healthcare instead.

Of course the next sucker buyer isn't just getting a house--they're getting a STUNNING KITCHEN REMODEL!@@@ so they're going to have to drop some serious coinage. $521 / sqft for (almost!) 1,400 sqft, only 2 bedrooms and not even a spare shower in the house? Give me a break. I guess you could always bathe in the pond and rinse under the calming trickle.

The sale history is unsurprising:

Sale History
08/29/2003: $522,000
A note to the agent: Alameda has enough truly "historic" homes for you not to make up new ones for poetic effect. "Old" does not mean "historic". Look it up next time.

Update 10/5/08: Price dropped a pathetic $30,000, "to sell." Pshaw.

$689000 PRICE REDUCED TO SELL! BEAUTIFUL FERNSIDE TRAD. W/STUNNING KITCHEN! (alameda) (map)


Reply to: hous-867404898@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-05, 11:34AM PDT


OPEN HOUSE SUNDAY, OCT. 5TH! 2-4:30PM
Gorgeous split-level Traditional in lovely Fernside neighborhood of Alameda, with 2 bedrooms and 1.5 baths and almost 1400 square feet of living space! Sophisticated and chic, this historical home boasts formal living and dining rooms, and an exquisitely remodeled kitchen, fit for any chef with discriminating taste; a spacious kitchen featuring VIKING appliances, including a six burner gas stove with double oven, stainless steel refrigerator and dishwasher, Brazilian Koa flooring, and self-closing walnut-stained cabinetry. From the kitchen, walk out onto the deck overlooking an enchanting garden with flowering plants and trees, complete with a fountain that offers the calming sounds of trickling water. And not to forget, the extra room and half bath on the lower level is perfect for office, den, or playroom. Ideally located in desirable East end near shops, parks, and transportation. A lovely home by any standard and one that is not to be missed!